Are you ever really ready?

It was two days before new years eve 2009,  and we had just come back from our honeymoon. The whole time we were away I didn't feel myself at all, so I decided to do the ol' pee on a stick trick... and there it was, two lines. 'Oh dear!' was the first thing that popped into my head, 'We're not ready for this.' was the second. To say that we coped well with the news would be a flat out lie. Both Mike and I had our own plans of what the next five years of our lives were going be. I was going to go attend university and study architecture, he was going to study music at The Conservatorium. After that we had plans of backpacking throughout South East Asia. There is no way we could take a baby with us! This little baby was ruining all that we had planned. We wanted kids but why did it have to be now?

Little did we know, we were 5 weeks pregnant

Learning to accept that we were about to have a baby didn't really take place until the third trimester. People kept asking 'are you excited?', my answer was always yes but I did have to convince myself a little. I was always worried that my life was going to be overrun by housework, chores, cooking etc. and that there was never going to be time for me and the things that I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. Resentment was growing and life as I knew it was over.

Feeling sad and pathetic

It wasn't until my father said to me, 'You can still get to where you are going, you just have to take a different route.' that I realised life wasn't over at all. Life, in fact had just begun. This was my chance to create something beautiful with the man that I love, relationships, after all are about compromise out of love.

Last prenatal visit

I began to embrace this baby with all of my heart, sometimes the love that I felt overwhelmed me. I became determined that I'm going to take on my role as a wife and a mother with 100% willingness and at the same time not loose sight of what I want as an individual. Our baby became a blessing.

Baby Grub, 2 days old

MamaKoo