What matters most

Since I've become a mother I've done a lot of soul searching, but more so in the past year. What matters most about life has become more and more evident to me, family, friends and the simple pleasures that life has to offer. Throughout the life of an average human being, there is always going to be ups and downs. During low times, I try to place my focus on what is good in my life, what lifts me up and into the light again. The one thing that is keeps me strong and focused is my family, my beautiful girl and my darling husband.

 

MamaKoo

The branded child

I feel as part of a Western culture, its somewhat predetermined that our children will grow up being taught to be greedy. They are bombarded with TV programs that have its marketing arms extended into the world of childrens clothes, food and toys. They're subliminally instructed to crave the latest and the greatest, to want more and need more and the more that they have, the cooler they are. Dora the Explorer yoghurt, Hannah Montana t-shirts, Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas (Do you know how hard it is to find non cartoon branded pyjamas?)

From what little television Grub watches, I agree some shows are educational. But its one thing to watch a half hour show once a week, compared to obsessing over Dora the Explorer merchandise because the girl at Kindy has a so and so. Its this type of mentality that is detrimental to a childs ability to accept who they are and what true happiness is, without the aid of materialistic things.

The combination of marketing creeping its way into our childrens lives and rise of Tween consumers, its more important than ever to provide a home environment where our children can grow up without feeling like more is better. These are my 'rules' I've set up for myself to combat the onslaught of the marketing world and to help Grub appreciate and respect her toys:


No plastic toys - The majority of branded toys are plastic. Not only are a lot of plastic toys poorly made, they are made with toxic substances that over time can cause various health problems including, reproductive defects, an increased risk of breast cancer and organ failure. Wooden toys last longer, are aesthetically pleasing, are hardly ever branded and lack flashing lights and sound allowing the imagination to express itself. Eco Toys sell amazing wooden toys for all ages and types of play.

Don't allow toys to get out of control - Every toy has a home on a shelf or in a cupboard. I like to display Grub's toys so she can easily access them when she wants to play and so they can easily be put back when shes finished. I try to get her to focus on one toy at a time, when she moves on to another toy, I put away the previous. If shes abusing or rough handling a toy, I take it away until she can play with it respectfully. 

Limited media exposure - Grub seriously only watches about 30 minutes of TV a week... Maximum! Some weeks the TV isn't even switched on. On the odd occasion that she does watch it, I switch it off when ads are playing. 

No kid focused branded foods - Since starting baby led weaning, I've only bought one branded kids food. Cheese stringers, it was an over priced, saltier, plastic laden version of mozzarella. 

Stay away from branded clothes - Majority of Grub's clothes are either hand me downs, from op shops or gifts. I've rarely had to buy new clothes, but when I do, I look for non branded clothes, that are easy to move in and made from natural fibers. 


Homemade or handcrafted toys -  Simple ideas like creating a hanging toy out of a Christmas bauble and a stick. Making a rattle out of pasta and a bottle. A cubby house out of two chairs and a sheet. For older kids, fun can be had by making toys together or doing activities like those in Action Pack. 

As parents we should be teaching out kids that self esteem comes from the inside out, not the outside in!


MamaKoo

Motherhood vs friends

Over the past six months I've noticed a dramatic shift in my circle of friends. I was very surprised to find out that becoming a Mother altered the roles that girlfriends play dramatically. When I think about it in hindsight, there is no way that becoming a mother couldn't change friendships. Previous to the birth of baby Grub, my friends mainly consisted of students or people who work casually in the hospitality industry. Who live in share houses, have casual relationships, go out spontaneously after work for cocktails, a late night dinner or to see a band. I am the first of my friends to get married and start a family and at times I feel like not one of my friends understand what I'm going through. The reality of dealing with sleepless nights because of a moody baby or the adjustments you have to make in your life in order to become a wife and a Mother doesn't really hit home until your actually living it.

Late nights and late mornings

The first few months after bringing baby Grub home I felt were the worst. I was still adjusting to becoming a new Mother, having the usual breast feeding issues like latching issues and cracked, sore nipples, feeling emotional, isolated and very tired. A hug, cup of coffee and a chat with an understanding friend, would have done wonders. A few friends did visit me on occasion but if it wasn't for my family members, especially Mike, my Mum and Aunties, I think I wouldn't have coped as well as I did.

Overtired and grumpy.. me not Grub!

Finding new mummy friends as helped a lot, not only can I talk about issues I'm dealing with, I can help support other Mothers through their struggles. I'm going through the same thing as they are and that interaction tends to make me feel like I'm not on my own. Becoming a Mother has opened the door to a world of new friendships that I would not have had otherwise. Mothers that I have hardly any similarities with other than our babies are both six months, yet we can talk for hours. It’s just a case of having the confidence to get out there and find them.

Whilst its fantastic to make new mummy friends, I think its also important to maintain your old friendships to help hold on to who you were before your children came along. Its the balance between old and new friendships that helps you stay sane. I know us Mothers are busy most of the time and that the only spare time we have to ourselves is after we've put our babies to sleep after a long day. But every now and then do try to use that time to send an old friend a text saying that your thinking of them, remind yourself to send that birthday card you've been meaning to, or pick up the phone and have a quick chat. These little things will help keep the friendship alive, if the other party is willing. Remember that the overwhelming early stages of motherhood will pass quickly and if you value your friendships it will pay off to work at them through the crazy days of sleep-deprivation, endless nappies and breastfeeding.

MamaKoo

Excess baggage

Since giving birth my appetite has been absolutely monstrous! Producing all of that beautiful breast milk to feed my growing baby Grub is hard work for my body. I always told that as soon as I gave birth, that all my 'baby' weight would fall right off. How wrong I was.

Wedding day 'ideal' weight

I still have 'fat days' when I can't find anything to wear because nothing sits the way it used to, not to mention how massive my boobs have gotten. I also find it hard to mentally push aside all the images and articles of celebrities that have gotten into shape two weeks after giving birth. But I always find myself asking, "Do they actually spend time with their newborns, or are they too busy working up a sweat so they can feel better about their body image? Surely they can't be eating a healthy diet!".

Giant boobs

I feel that reality is, you'll never get your body back to the way it was pre-baby, its just been through one of the toughest physical efforts it will ever have to endure. For nine months it created life, its not going to take two weeks to get it all back, give yourself time. The main thing is to eat healthy and stay active, thats all you can do. Obsessing creates more problems and solves nothing. Besides, everybody's body works differently, I have friends who within four months of giving birth have gotten back to their pre-baby weight without doing anything differently. Whilst other mothers, after a few years of giving birth to their first, have just become comfortable with their weight again.

I found this guideline of healthy eating for breastfeeding women, to help me remind myself when I feel down about eating. It makes me feel like I'm not eating enough!!

Healthy Eating Guidelines for Breastfeeding Women

The Australian Guide to Healthy Eating recommends the following servings per day:

- 5 - 7 servings from the bread, cereals, rice, pasta, noodles group.
An example of one serve is 2 slices bread; 1 medium bread roll; 1 cup of cooked rice, pasta or noodles; or 1 1/3 cups of breakfast cereal flakes.

There is an allowance of about 20 g a day for poly or monunsaturated fats and oils that can be used to spread on breads or rolls or used elsewhere in the diet.

- 7 servings from the vegetables, legumes group.
An example of one serve is 75 grams or 1/2 cup cooked vegetables; 1/2 cup cooked dried beans, peas, lentils or canned beans; 1 cup of salad vegetables; or 1 small potato.

- 5 servings of fruit. An example of one serve is 1 medium apple; 2 small pieces (150 g) of fruit (apricots, kiwi fruit, plums); 1 cup of diced fruit pieces or canned fruit; 1/2 cup of fruit juice; or 1 1/2 tablespoons of sultanas.

- 2 servings from the milk, yoghurt, cheese group.
An example of one serve is 250 ml of milk; 250 ml of soy milk; 40 grams (2 slices) of cheese; or 200 g (1 small carton) of yoghurt.

- 2 servings from the meat, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts and legumes group.
An example of one serve is 65-100 grams cooked meat or chicken; 2 small chops; 2 slices of roast meat; 1/2 cup of cooked dried beans; 80-120 grams of fish fillet; 1/3 cup peanuts (almonds); or 2 small eggs.

Source: Australian Department of Health and Aging

Give your body time to heal, look at the miracle your body just produced!

MamaKoo